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  • Writer's pictureMa qualité de vie

8 tips to let go and finally find inner peace

Updated: Sep 21

Too often we cling to ideas, expectations, situations that hold us captive because we can't let go. To free ourselves from what shackles us, let's practice taking life as it comes and breaking down our resistance.

Photo of Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

How complicated life can seem at times and give us a lot of trouble. Not everything goes the way we want it to. We are always trying to achieve our desires. We desperately try to control the situation, we are distraught as soon as things get out of hand, we invest time and energy in trying to influence the course of events and the people around us. We want to live the story of our life by being the one who pulls all the strings of the plot. We consider that our life must be shaped in a certain way and not in any other way, so we insist on trying to direct things in that direction.

While there is nothing wrong with taking action to make your life the way you want it to be, there may be times when your many efforts are ineffective. And when our repeated attempts are unsuccessful, we get frustrated and refuse to let go. In fact, in this kind of situation, we make ourselves unhappy, because we put this pressure and tension on ourselves. However, the problem is not in all these circumstances that we want to control and that we cannot control, but in ourselves.

While browsing the Web to learn more about the subject, I learned that letting go is an attitude, a transformation, an inner awakening. It is a very effective solution to find peace and joy in life, when we are confronted with situations that are beyond our control, despite all the efforts invested in trying to tip the balance in our favour. By letting go, we can continue to move forward in life with more ease and openness. It is a powerful weapon to get rid of negative emotions and tension created by the gap between the desired situation (to which we cling) and reality. It is a mindset that liberates and relieves.

"Letting go is hard, but holding on is harder".

But while letting go of our desire for control can overcome the blockages caused by our stubbornness, letting go can sometimes be a challenge. Keep in mind that letting go is within everyone's reach and that finding peace and relief will require some give and take. Here are 8 ways to do this.

1. Stop trying to control everything

We must accept that some things are beyond our control. Rather than wasting energy trying to control what we can't control, it is better to redirect that energy towards what we can control. To stop being controlling, however, requires overcoming our fear of letting things go. For this, the spiritual is a great help. We rely on what is bigger than us, a wish, vibes launched in the universe, a prayer, according to our belief. Fear fades away little by little.

"The being able to accept lives within the range of doing all that you can do and when you have done everything that you can do, you surrender it. Let it go to the power and energy that's greater than yourself".

Oprah Winfrey

2. Living in the moment

Living fully in the present moment and looking to the future with serenity is the best remedy. It consists in focusing on the present and appreciating it, because the past is behind us and the future has not yet arrived. The future is uncertain. It is normal to think about it, but not to get so hung up on it that you get stuck. It is important to tame this uncertainty that is part of life and to be confident in the future. Also, dwelling on the past will not help, since it is impossible to go back and change anything. Stay calm.

3. Take a new look at your life

Letting go helps to change perspective, which opens the door to new possibilities. This attitude invites you to rethink your life, to see your situation differently, to explore new things, to welcome opportunities that you did not pay attention to before, but that now reveal themselves to you. A positive inner transformation takes place that promotes personal growth. 

4. Be aware of your limitations

It is clear that our field of action is restricted for the simple reason that we are limited. The important thing is to do our best by recognizing that we don't know everything, that we can't see everything, that we can't be everywhere, that we are not a superhero. The power we have over what is outside of us is weak, but the power we have over ourselves is great. So by accepting to do our best and by working on our state of mind, we can free ourselves from many frustrations, disappointments and torments. Conclusion, we act on what we can control, and for what is beyond our control and influence, we let go.

5. Learn to detach

Detachment is taking a step back from the situation that is causing resistance. It is about moving away from it emotionally, which calms and relieves. Gradually, we stop feeling trapped in something that is clearly slipping through our fingers. By abandoning the rigid attitude we had towards the problem we experienced, we end up unhooking and making room for creativity and other perspectives. Detachment helps to see the situation from a new perspective and to find new solutions.

6. Accepting what you can't change

In many cases, it can be difficult to accept an undesirable situation that may, for example, be a source of resentment, sadness or suffering. But when it is not possible to change the course of events, why hold on? Isn't it better to let go of our resistance and evacuate the negative emotions? By letting go, we can turn the page and put our energy and attention on productive activities. Once the situation is accepted, we are able to start fresh and feel lighter.

7. Change your mindset

It is to put ourselves in a new state of mind that gets us out of the negative or toxic thought patterns that prevent us from progressing. For example, instead of making comparisons with a situation or a person we envy, of clinging to our expectations, of limiting ourselves to the only solutions that seem possible, it is preferable to redirect our mind towards useful thoughts and to build a positive story of the experience we had. Abandoning the faulty patterns of the mind is to give yourself the freedom to give a new interpretation to our story.

8. Abandon your limiting beliefs

A limiting belief is a belief that prevents you from moving forward, that blocks you, that holds you back. They are ideas that you may have about yourself or received ideas that you believe because of your education, social pressure, expectations or the judgment of others. Limiting beliefs are false beliefs. For example, you may believe that you are unable to learn a new language because you don't feel that you are good at it. This is a harsh judgment of yourself. If you really want to learn this language, you will have to let go of your fear of failure, give up your limiting belief and look for a supportive belief. A supportive belief could be, for example, that you are competent and have the resources to learn and master the basics of this language.

As far as I am concerned, I learned to let go by force of circumstance, inevitably and naturally because there was no other solution to the situation I was experiencing. I live the "Letting Go" by doing what I can with what I have and by accepting that things can turn out differently. I use what I have learned from my past experiences to understand my present and appreciate what this present has to offer. I am confident in the future and above all, I accept with faith in Providence, that everything I experience will contribute to my good, if I accept to see things differently and if I decide to open myself to other possibilities, which could lead me to the same destination, but by another way.

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(Ma qualité de vie means My quality of life in French.)


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